I Looked at May and Made a Choice

By Erica Ogden | Set Apart Coaching

May has always held a special place in my heart. Mother's Day. My birthday (May 18th, and several friends' birthdays). And the glorious moment when my kids finish school and we no longer have to be out the door before sunrise. As a morning person... I am not a morning person - and this is the beginning of the golden months.

But this year? This year May is an entirely different situation.

A Month Full of Milestones

My littlest is graduating from kindergarten. My biggest is graduating from high school - with honors. We have a kindergarten celebration, a graduation ceremony, a graduation party, several of his closest friends' graduation parties, my birthday, my best friend's 40th birthday trip, Mother's Day, and Memorial Day. My husband and I have been married 15 years, and I'm fairly certain this will be the busiest month we've had yet. It might actually top the month we got married.

But if I'm being really honest with you, the busyness isn't even the hardest part.

Watching my son prepare to leave for college is pulling on every heartstring I have. He is heading to Florida Atlantic University to study Mechanical Engineering - and because of the requirements of FAU's College of Engineering, he starts this summer. We barely get to catch our breath before he goes.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

This is Jake's season. And it is my job as his mom to be fully, completely present in it. That is not something I am willing to miss because I was too overwhelmed to fully show up. I don't want June to hit and it feel like I just went through the motions.

We can choose to be intentional instead of overwhelmed.

Here's how I do that...

The Meeting That Changes Everything

Every week, I sit down with myself and plan ahead. It is one of the most valuable - and non-negotiable - meetings on my calendar. Without it, I genuinely don't know how I'd keep my head above water while also running a business and chasing my goals.

It's something I have an entire training on, and honestly... I've been toying with the idea of offering a standalone live workshop on time management and self-organization. Would you benefit from that?

I cover it inside my 6-month program, but what if I opened it up? Let me know if that's something you'd be interested in. I genuinely want to hear from you.

Here's What Used to Happen to Me... Can You Relate?

When a month like this showed up on the calendar, I would "hustle" straight into burnout. I'd take each day as it came, white-knuckling my way through it. I'd feel agitated and irritable, and SO overwhelmed.

I would say out loud all day, every day, how busy I was and how I wished there were more hours in the day. I kept telling myself I was too busy to plan ahead. The moments I had set aside to "plan" would get filled with something else. I did not realize I was making a choice to be burned out and overwhelmed.

It wasn't always a conscious choice, but it was a choice. And it cost me presence. It cost me joy. It cost me the ability to actually be in the moments that mattered.

I don't want that for this month. Not for Jake's graduation. Not for my littlest walking across that kindergarten stage. Not for any of it.

So here I am... writing this blog in April. Looking ahead at May. Making sure my client meetings are scheduled, my reservations are made, my outfits are sorted, and every detail I can handle in advance has already been handled. Not because I have it all together, but because I've learned that proactivity is an act of self-respect.

I have made the time to make the time.

Burnout doesn't usually come from being busy. It comes from being busy without being intentional.

My Gift to You This Month: The Brain Dump

The most powerful tool I know for shifting out of reactive mode and into a proactive one? A brain dump.

Give yourself at least 30 minutes, create a quiet space, and write down everything that's in your head. Every task, every worry, every "I need to remember to..." Get it all out. Here's why this works - and I mean really works, not just "feels good" works.

Your brain uses glucose to process thoughts. Glucose is energy. Which means thoughts literally use energy. You can be physically rested and still feel completely exhausted because your brain has been running on overdrive managing everything you're holding in your head. That mental exhaustion is real. That decision fatigue is real.

And anything you can choose to do ahead of time - anything you can get out of your head and onto paper - preserves that glucose. It preserves your energy. It creates mental space you didn't even realize you were missing.

A brain dump doesn't just organize your to-do list. It frees your mind. It lowers your stress. It shifts you from that reactive, day-by-day survival mode into a proactive, planned state where you can actually show up present... for the graduations, the birthday trips, the ordinary Tuesday mornings that turn out to matter more than you expected.

Psalm 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

I think about that a lot this month. The days are numbered. They always have been. And I want to be present for every single one of them.

May is going to be full and beautiful and a little bittersweet and completely memory-making. And I plan to be present for every single second of it.

Happy May. Happy Mother's Day to all my mamas. And happy birthday to me.

SOMETHING FOR YOU!

P.S. As a little birthday gift back to you - anyone who signs up to coach with me in the month of May (either program!) will receive three free coaching sessions added to their package. That's my way of celebrating with you. Just reference this blog post when booking your call!